the world needs fonks
THE FONKS HAVE LANDED
AND THEY’RE HERE TO PARTY
who’s your fonk?
CELEBRATE PERSONALITY
why do fonks happen?
You get a fonk when you mix equal parts of Star, Moon, and Void – but it’s ok, because that special recipe produces the fonkiest party animal in the world. And it’s here for you!
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Sure, fonks are fonking up the world. But it’s not like they move on their own, and that whole world fonking up thing was just a big accident.
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Moon got in the way again, and made fonks happen. But the good news is, they’re just bringing a big party to the world. So come join the Fonk Party!
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For being an accident from the moon, fonks sure are soft and cuddly. Basically harmless! and planning for the next play party.
All the fonklore
Dive into all the fonky details on our fonklore page to see what you can do in this moment of world crisis!
FONK FACT:
Fonks come from The Moon! Fonks keep shooting out of the moon, fonking things up, and we don’t really know how to stop them. But why would we stop them from happening? They’re so cute and fun!
SOUND, SANE REASONING
for getting a fonk
These practical features make Fonk ownership the rational choice.
A CAPTIVATING DILEMMA
〰️
WE ALL WANT TO KNOW
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A MASTER OF LOVE WIZARDRY
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BALANCING A LIFE OF WIZARDRY AND A LIFE OF LOVE
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WOULD YOU TANGLE WITH A LOVE WIZARD?
A CAPTIVATING DILEMMA 〰️ WE ALL WANT TO KNOW ~ A MASTER OF LOVE WIZARDRY ~ BALANCING A LIFE OF WIZARDRY AND A LIFE OF LOVE ~ WOULD YOU TANGLE WITH A LOVE WIZARD?
What is a Love Wizard? We all want to know. Powered by the radiant luminescence of pure love itself, each fully posable, 18” Love Wizard acts as a captivating enigma, ready to take you on a twisting journey of discovery through the meaning of love. his alluring, mystical sorcerer from the misty nether regions of the Moon wants you to find out all that a Love Wizard has to offer. Includes:
18” Fonk
Luminary Sash (Gold or silver)
Beadbands - assorted colors (3)
Fonksnatcher Two wall mount
WHAT IS IT?
It’s A love wizard!
Powered by the radiant luminescence of pure love itself, each fully posable, 18” Love Wizard Fonk acts as a captivating enigma. This alluring, mystical sorcerer from the Moon is a fully dressed fonk, ready to pose as decor, floating magically from your wall.
• 18” Poseable Fonk
• 72” Luminary Sash (Gold or silver)
• Beadbands - assorted colors (3)
• Fonksnatcher Two wall mount
Each Love Wizard is a Star Series Fonk, one of the first 500 to happen!
FONK SHOW
SUBMIT YOUR FONK PHOTOS to the online FONK show!
"...It was adorably pushing through into our world." - B. Tanner, Baltimore, MD
There it was, frozen in faceplant." -Darnell F., Seattle, WA
"To my surprise, I didn't mind the intrusion." -Alena B., Houston, TX
"It was trying to blend in with the plant life. Poorly." -G. Thompson, Boise, ID
Sign up for
MOON NEWS
All the latest Fonk info, straight from the Moon
ONLY RELY ON OFFICIAL, AUTHORIZED FONK INFO – YOU CAN 100% TRUST THE MOON FOR ALL FONK FACTS!
ALL FONKS LOVE FONXERCISE
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SOME FONKS THROW DOWN AND POSE
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FONK-OFF WITH A FONXERCISER
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WHO WILL WIN?
〰️ SOME FONKS THROW DOWN AND POSE 〰️ FONK-OFF WITH A FONXERCISER 〰️ WHO WILL WIN?
This 18” posable Fonk comes fully pre-fonxercised AND fully geared up in a fresh FONXERCISE outfit, ready to fonk-off and pose down. Soft and still, with no signs of autonomous motion, your Fonxerciser will pose just the way you want! Ages 3+
WHAT IS IT?
It’s a FONxerciser!
Fonks pose best when wearing gear that accents their limbs and digies. That’s why Fonxercisers are the flyest fonks to happen so far! If you want your fonk to gear up and throw down epic Fonk-Offs, you can’t go wrong with the fresh, old school style of a Fonxerciser. Pick up one of these 18” fully dressed and posable plush bad boys from the streets of The Moon. Available in Fonkie Pink or a Unique Mix of colors to make a fonky-fresh pose-wiz of your very own.
18” Poseable Fonk
Headband, 4 limb bands
Fonksnatcher Two wall mount
Each Fonxerciser is a Star Series Fonk, one of the first 500 to happen!
This 18-inch posable guy from the moon is ready to dress up and pose for the fonkinest time this side of the world. What’s your fonk going to be today?
Details
18 inches tall on a good day
3 digies on each of four bendy limbs
Soft, light fonkbod
Safe for ages 3+
Head and posable neck, with 5 hair digies
No face. Make a face for your fonk!
GIVE A FONK TO A FRIEND…
EVERY FRIEND NEEDS a FONK!
What is it? It’s a Fonk, a thing that happened recently, but don’t worry: the Moon has taken full responsibility. This 18-inch little guy is capable of posing all kinds of ways around your home. So give one to a friend! A Fonk can pose as a buddy, shadow totem, nightlurker, warding glyph, all in one day if you want. Just know that Fonks DO NOT move on their own so you can make it pose however you want it to!
A Public Apology From
THE OFFICE OF THE MOON
Sincerest apologies for all the fonks. This was an accident, and we are working on a remedy. Some have been asking how could this happen? Well, The Sky was going through some stuff at the time. The Void and The Star were having some trouble, and I thought I could step in and offer my help, and well, now there are fonks. Sorry.
You know how sometimes you try to do something to make things better, but it just makes things worse? It was like that. And now, fonks are melting the world by touching it. But look, don’ tmake too much of it. I am on it. Promise.
In the mean time, there are two remedies we know work really well:
1. FONK ADOPTION
Each fonk off the streets and in a loving home means one less chance the world melts, and that’s good for everyone. They play well with most children and they do not move when you look directly at them, so that’s a couple positives.
2. PERMANENT HOUSING
We should all probably get used to the fact that the world has fonks now. Good news is, we have plans to build a habitat specifically suited for fonks through THE MELT PROJECT. This is a planned facility in-between The Sky and The World where fonks can safely melt things, and moreover, live and play with dignity.
Support The Melt Project
LET’S DO THIS
Let’s face it: things are pretty fonked up right now. But together, we can build a better world: one that doesn’t melt when fonks touch it.
In a major, recent development, THE MOON has officially partnered with JOE SQUARE to drive fonk awareness and adoption. Please join the MOON NEWS newsletter for all up-to-date, factual and official fonk-related information.