Fonks Are Melting the World!
Yes, The Moon is super sorry about that, and yes — we can fix it.
Ever since the Moon let the Fonks happen, things have been getting pretty fonked up. Sure, the rainbowy sparks they leave behind are making the world more colorful than ever, but there’s no denying that all these fonkholes have fonked up reality as we know it.
crisis!
fonks keep happening
Each Fonk is an anthropomorphic meteor from the moon that melts everything in its path. That melting allows alternate timelines to spill into the world through colorful little rifts known as fonkholes.
Artist’s rendering. Actual fonkholes may differ in size and shape.
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As a fonk shoots out of the moon it damages the spacetime continuum, punching a hole in history, and melting a part of the past. This is a fonkhole, and it can be fixed.
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As the Fonk zigzags through history, it leaves behind a trail of sparks — what we call a fonktrail. All we have to do is follow that fonktrail and we will find the fonk.
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Once you find a fonk, it has lost all its heat and is room temperature. No more world melting for this little guy! You can feel safe in knowing a found fonk will never melt the world again.
why do fonks happen?
You see, when a Star and a Void like each other very much, they want to unite in an implausible, celestial synthesis. But when the Moon tries to facilitate this union by providing a meeting ground for two opposite and equal forces of the universe… well, what happens is you get fonks.
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Yes, these fonkholes have fonked up spacetime, and the world is not the same. But we can make it samer, by unfonking what has been fonked.
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Sure, fonks fonk up the world. But don’t we all fonk things up sometimes? The moon is more asking for forgiveness than permission, here.
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For being from the moon, fonks sure are soft and cuddly. They really are quite harmless, despite all the world melting.
the fun work ahead
Let’s face it, this “crisis” could be much more serious, and a lot less adorable. So pick up a fonk and start unfonking the world! Together, we’ll get all this cleaned up!
FONK FACT:
The Moon promises the world that fonks are safe. There is no need to panic about it.
fonk anatomyi
It’s not all fonkstuff in there!
(But it’s mostly fonkstuff)
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Fonkbones are what make a fonk so gosh darn posable. Bendy bones aren’t like our bones, are they? Not at all. Fonkbones are meant to be bent!
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Yeah that fluffy, light stuff inside a fonk is fonkstuff, and it makes your fonk super soft and cuddly. Fonkstuff can be squeezed without any damage to the fonk, so get to cuddling!
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Each fonk has 17 digies: three at the end of each limb, and exactly five more digies on the head. All a fonk’s digies are surprisingly posable, too!
FONK FACT:
The Star likes all parts of a fonk. In her opinion, fonks are great, through and through!
Sparks, Rifts, and the Art of Unfonking
Every Fonk leaves behind what we call a fonktrail, as it careens haphazardly from The Moon, melting tiny rifts in multidimensional spacetime. If you peer into a spark, you can see exactly what part of the past has been fonked up. Your job is to UNFONK IT.
Unfonking is simple: Just walk up to a fonkhole and unfonk what you find.
there’s a spark in that fonkhole…
Sure enough, if you look down in that fonkhole, you’ll see a spark.
a spark of THE PAST
A spark can be seen as a little bit of the past that has been damaged by a fonk. A fonk whizzed by this historical artifact and fonked it all up.
TIME TO UNFONK IT
Could be a book, a movie, a famous person, a song, or whatever. You’ll just have to figure it out. But you’ll have help. You’ll have a fonk of course, The Moon comes around with a hint, and anybody else and their fonk can come along, too.
YOU can do this
Usually, you can tell exactly what part of the past got fonked up. Solve it, seal the rift with the touch of a fonk, and restore that little piece of the world! You’ll get to keep the spark. Fonks collect them!
here’s a spark!
Tap on it to try it out!
FONK Rules
Each fonk abides by these unbreakable tenets:
never moves on its own
That’s right, a fonk is inanimate to the core! No fonk can move without someone or something moving it! This is rule number one for a fonk.
room temperature
Yes, when a fonk first happens, it’s hot enough to melt spacetime and really fonk things up. But whenever you find a fonk, it has cooled all the way down to thermal equilibrium. Once cooled, a fonk will never melt the world again! Promise!
poses all kinds of ways
You gotta know a fonk is down for posing! Letting you pose it could be what a fonk does best. Thats because every fonk has bendy bones – just what you need to pose like a fonk. Just check out the fonxerciser!
can be anything
Yup, you can dress a fonk anyway you want, and it will not complain. In fact, it’s probably gonna look pretty fly with whatever you put on it. Fonks don’t know how to dress, and again, don’t move on their own, so you’ll have to do all the work.
won’t say a word
Fonks don’t have mouths or the power of speech, so they end up being actually one of the most silent things in your home. With such a soft, light bod, fonks are pretty incapable of making even incidental sounds. They sorta sound like pillows.
soft and harmless
For being a meteor from the moon, fonks are soft, gentle, and not very heavy at all. Whather it is sitting stylishly on a kitchen counter, or in a Fonksnatcher Two on the wall, fonks are cuddlingly innocent. Fonks don’t bite or scratch.
get a fonK
SPARKS, AND THE
MYSTERY THEREIN
Any day you find a fonkhole, you can be sure there’s a spark in there. There are five kinds of spark, each of a different color. A spark’s color tells you how it’s been fonked up. When you know that, you’re better equipped to unfonk it and collect that spark.
A fonktrail always follows the same color sequence.
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Someone famous has been melted right out of the timeline and replaced with this scrambled mess! It’s an anagram of a notable name.
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A rogue fonk has only left 8 emoji representing something from the past – usually a movie or tv show, but look to the moon for a hint.
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This bit of history has been fonked into a set of synonyms – just find words that mean the same thing as the ones shown to deduce the answer.
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A fonk-up where each of the words has been fonked over to its opposite word, or opposish, anyway. It’s not perfect. Do your best to flip those words to their opposite to unfonk this little piece of the past.
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There’s a word completely missing from the larger web of reality… it’s like the fonk knocked it out of existence as it flew through here. The missing word will complete a phrase after the first word, and before the second word shown.
a FONK is All kinds of PARTY
AND YOU ARE INVITED!
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What will you wear? Fonks are a blank slate for any identity you dream up for them. And since a fonk can be anything, here’s your chance to make it into the dreamiest character you can imagine!
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There’s a lost fonk, and you, your fonk, and your friends and their fonks are the team that’s going to find it. And you’ll find out how your fonk is already a part of that missing fonk’s life. Is your fonk its mother? Best friend? Personal trainer? No matter what, your fonk has a vested interest in finding that missing fonk!
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Next you play a party game of wits: Unfonking with your friends and their fonks. Do you know the five ways to unfonk the fonked-up past? Just tap that spark to give it a try!
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Fonks left all these sparks around, so it’s time to pick them up. As you unfonk those sparks, your fonk and every other fonk that helps you will collect them. The Star wants those sparks back and they’re not going to collect themselves! Only fonks can pick up sparks, so if you and your friends want to collect sparks, you’ll each want to bring a fonk along to do it.
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Finally, when you’re ready to return all those sparks to The Star, it’s time to celebrate! Every found fonk deserves a welcome party! A fonk welcome party is a birthday, reunion, and block party all wrapped up into one! The Star is waiting to welcome your fonk on the seat of honor!
Fonk Politics
KNOW YOUR CELESTIAL OVERLORDS
THE MOON
(They/Them)
The Moon definitely made the fonks happen, and totally admits it. The fonks weren’t on purpose, ok? The Moon has assured that they do have a plan to make things right again and are working on it.
the star
(She/Her)
The Star is fine with the fonks, really. Everything under her is doing great whether they happened or not. She’s just asking that the sparks get returned to her. No big deal! Yeah, the Star is all love, so she’s pretty great. She’ll hang out, too.
the void
(He/Him)
Honestly, Mr. Void is cool with all the sparks. Would it have been better, in his opinion if the fonks didn’t happen? Yes. He thinks the Moon really fonked things up big time. But those sparks can stay right where they are – they make his darkness a little more colorful.
Now look, The Moon is taking full responsibility for the accident – isn’t that nice? The Moon’s boss, The Star, has asked that we clean up all the sparks and return them to her. So, you guys, all we have to do is pick up all the sparks scattered across the Void and bring them back to the Star. She’s really cool and really nice, and she loves to meet the fonks you find.
The Void, on the other hand, has mixed feelings about the sparks. He is NOT happy that the fonks happened, but the sparks are pretty, and he’d like to keep them. But that’s not really up to him, and he can’t do anything about it. But just know he’ll show up and try to talk you into giving him the sparks you’ve picked up. But he has some neat little void creatures that he’ll trade for them. So it’s not all terrible.
The Star and The Void get along, but they have very different goals, those two. Well, I guess they want the same thing: they both want the sparks. The world can keep the fonks.
There’s always a little more to find out about Fonks.
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