why do fonks happen?
You get a fonk when you mix equal parts of Star, Moon, and Void – but it’s ok, because that special recipe produces the fonkiest party animal in the world. And it’s here for you!
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Sure, fonks are fonking up the world. But it’s not like they move on their own, and that whole world fonking up thing was just a big accident.
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Moon got in the way again, and made fonks happen. But the good news is, they’re just bringing a big party to the world. So come join the Fonk Party!
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For being an accident from the moon, fonks sure are soft and cuddly. Basically harmless! and planning for the next play party.
FONK FACT:
Fonks come from The Moon! Fonks keep shooting out of the moon, fonking things up, and we don’t really know how to stop them. But why would we stop them from happening? They’re so cute and fun!
FONK Rules
Each fonk abides by these unbreakable tenets:
never moves on its own
That’s right, a fonk is inanimate to the core! No fonk can move without someone or something moving it! This is rule number one for a fonk.
room temperature
Yes, when a fonk first happens, it’s hot enough to melt spacetime and really fonk things up. But whenever you find a fonk, it has cooled all the way down to thermal equilibrium. Once cooled, a fonk will never melt the world again! Promise!
poses all kinds of ways
You gotta know a fonk is down for posing! Letting you pose it could be what a fonk does best. Thats because every fonk has bendy bones – just what you need to pose like a fonk.
can be anything
Yup, you can dress a fonk anyway you want, and it will not complain. In fact, it’s probably gonna look pretty fly with whatever you put on it. Fonks don’t know how to dress, and again, don’t move on their own, so you’ll have to do all the work.
won’t say a word
Fonks don’t have mouths or the power of speech, so they end up being actually one of the most silent things in your home. With such a soft, light bod, fonks are pretty incapable of making even incidental sounds. They sorta sound like pillows.
soft and harmless
For being a meteor from the moon, fonks are soft, gentle, and not very heavy at all. Whather it is sitting stylishly on a kitchen counter, or in a Fonksnatcher Two on the wall, fonks are cuddlingly innocent. Fonks don’t bite or scratch.
get a fonK
This 18-inch posable guy from the moon is ready to dress up and pose for the fonkinest time this side of the world. What’s your fonk going to be today?
Details
18 inches tall on a good day
3 digies on each of four bendy limbs
Soft, light fonkbod
Safe for ages 3+
Head and posable neck, with 5 hair digies
No face. Make a face for your fonk!
fonk anatomy
It’s not all fonkstuff in there!
(But it’s mostly fonkstuff)
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Fonkbones are what make a fonk so gosh darn posable. Bendy bones aren’t like our bones, are they? Not at all. Fonkbones are meant to be bent!
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Yeah that fluffy, light stuff inside a fonk is fonkstuff, and it makes your fonk super soft and cuddly. Fonkstuff can be squeezed without any damage to the fonk, so get to cuddling!
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Each fonk has 17 digies: three at the end of each limb, and exactly five more digies on the head. All a fonk’s digies are surprisingly posable, too!
FONK FACT:
The Star likes all parts of a fonk. In her opinion, fonks are great, through and through!
Fonk ingredients
FONKS HAVE THREE…
matter from THE MOON
The Moon definitely made the fonks happen, and totally admits it. The fonks weren’t on purpose, ok? The Moon has assured that they do have a plan to make things right again and are working on it.
energy from the star
The Star is fine with the fonks, really. Everything under her is doing great whether they happened or not. She’s just asking that we all just love the fonks now that they’re here. She wants to find out all about your Fonk!
nothing from the void
Would it have been better, in The Void’s opinion, if the fonks didn’t happen? Yes. He thinks the Moon really fonked things up big time. But look, Mr. Void enjoys a Fonk Party as much as the next everpresent nothingness. Fonk on!
SOURCING OUR INGREDIENTS CELESTIALLY
There’s always a little more to find out about Fonks.
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