IN THE TIME BEFORE THE WORLD, THERE WERE NO FONKS. THERE WAS JUST THE VOID, THE STAR, AND MOON.
MOON KNEW THE VOID LIKED THE STAR, AND ARRANGED FOR THEM TO MEET. it did not go well.
that’s when the fonks happened.
why do fonks happen?
You get a fonk when you mix equal parts of Star, Moon, and Void – but it’s ok, because that special recipe produces the fonkiest party animal in the world.
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Sure, fonks are fonking up the world. But it’s not like they move on their own, and that whole world fonking up thing was just a big accident.
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Moon got in the way again, and made fonks happen. But the good news is, they’re just bringing a big party to the world. So come join the Fonk Party!
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For being an accident from the moon, fonks sure are soft and cuddly. Basically harmless! and planning for the next play party.
FONK FACT:
Fonks come from The Moon!
Fonks keep shooting out of the moon, fonking things up, and we don’t really know how to stop them. But why would we stop them from happening? They’re so cute and fun!
every fonk comes with a jermbywerm and adoption papers.
FONK Rules
Each fonk abides by these unbreakable tenets:
never moves on its own
That’s right, a fonk is inanimate to the core! No fonk can move without someone or something moving it! This is rule number one for a fonk.
room temperature
Yes, when a fonk first happens, it’s hot enough to melt spacetime and really fonk things up. But whenever you find a fonk, it has cooled all the way down to thermal equilibrium. Once cooled, a fonk will never melt the world again! Promise!
poses all kinds of ways
You gotta know a fonk is down for posing! Letting you pose it could be what a fonk does best. Thats because every fonk has bendy bones – just what you need to pose like a fonk.
can be anything
Yup, you can dress a fonk anyway you want, and it will not complain. In fact, it’s probably gonna look pretty fly with whatever you put on it. Fonks don’t know how to dress, and again, don’t move on their own, so you’ll have to do all the work.
won’t say a word
Fonks don’t have mouths or the power of speech, so they end up being actually one of the most silent things in your home. With such a soft, light bod, fonks are pretty incapable of making even incidental sounds. They sorta sound like pillows.
soft and harmless
For being a meteor from the moon, fonks are soft, gentle, and not very heavy at all. Whather it is sitting stylishly on a kitchen counter, or in a Fonksnatcher Two on the wall, fonks are cuddlingly innocent. Fonks don’t bite or scratch.
get a fonK
This 18-inch posable guy from the moon is ready to dress up and pose for the fonkinest time this side of the world. What’s gonna be in your fonksack? There’s one way to find out… Get a fonk!
Includes
Fonksack
Adoption papers
A big fat Jermbywerm of its very own
Stylish sticker
Details
18 inches tall on a good day
3 digies on each of four bendy limbs
Soft, light fonkbod
Safe for ages 3+
Head and posable neck, with 5 hair digies
No face. Make a face for your fonk!
fonk anatomy
It’s not all fonkstuff in there!
(But it’s mostly fonkstuff)
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Fonkbones are what make a fonk so gosh darn posable. Bendy bones aren’t like our bones, are they? Not at all. Fonkbones are meant to be bent!
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Yeah that fluffy, light stuff inside a fonk is fonkstuff, and it makes your fonk super soft and cuddly. Fonkstuff can be squeezed without any damage to the fonk, so get to cuddling!
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Each fonk has 17 digies: three at the end of each limb, and exactly five more digies on the head. All a fonk’s digies are surprisingly posable, too!
FONK FACT:
The Star likes all parts of a fonk. In her opinion, fonks are great, through and through!
Fonk ingredients
FONKS HAVE THREE…
matter from THE MOON
The Moon definitely made the fonks happen, and totally admits it. The fonks weren’t on purpose, ok? The Moon has assured that they do have a plan to make things right again and are working on it.
energy from the star
The Star is fine with the fonks, really. Everything under her is doing great whether they happened or not. She’s just asking that we all just love the fonks now that they’re here. She wants to find out all about your Fonk!
nothing from the void
Would it have been better, in The Void’s opinion, if the fonks didn’t happen? Yes. He thinks the Moon really fonked things up big time. But look, Mr. Void enjoys a Fonk Party as much as the next everpresent nothingness. Fonk on!
SOURCING OUR INGREDIENTS CELESTIALLY
Fonks really fonked up The Star’s and Moon’s World project with a bunch of fonks – not to mention filling the Void with a bunch of fonkholes. But Moon assures us that this fonk situation will be fixed soon enough – and in the meantime, you can unfonk what the fonks fonked up… with a fonk of your own!
meet the family
Not everyone has three parents, but some do.
And some of those are fonks!
the star
This white hot, beaming ball of light in the sky sure does love fonks! Even though she’s not sure what a “day” is, exactly (though she’s told she has something to do with it) she mostly spends them shining, beaming, and glowing bright for all to see.
In her spare time (again, not terribly clear on what time is) she likes crafting with Moon. They’ve got a little project they call their “world” that they tinker with. But now that the fonks are here, there’s not as much of this time stuff for crafting, or so Moon tells her. But she keeps shining anyway – you can’t really miss her… unless, of course, she’s on the other side of the world, which is about half the time. But don’t worry – she’s still there.
And yes, the rumors are true. She likes Mr. Void. You think she’s shy about it? Shy isn’t in The Star’s vocabulary. The Star loves to love. She’s very generous, and sweet, though she can be a bit much sometimes, But if it weren’t for The Star, the sky would be a heckuva lot darker and colder. So, thanks for being around, Star!
moon
A celestial object of many faces, Moon prefers “they/them”, so as to not get bogged down in one role for too long. That’s because they’re doing a lot! First of all, they’re trying to figure out why the fonks keep happening, and worrying about that most of the time. Everything matters to Moon, and they do their best to hold it all together. You see, Moon feels responsible for just about everything, and really wants the best for everyone, including all of us World People down here. And we’ve got to admit, Moon makes The World pretty great, just by being around it.
Moon’s the first to admit they don’t know everything, and spends most days pretty confused. But they rely on resourcefulness, curiosity, and care to get through it all, whthr it’s a crisis, opportunity, or just something we all have to deal with, Moon, is right there with us, and happy to help. Thanks, Moon!
mr. void
You might not think he’s around, but that can’t be further from the truth: Mr. Void is the eternal nothingness that permeates all existence. Does he himself exist? Yes and no. Some say he exists and some say he doesn’t exist, and Mr. Void would agree with both of them. Since he’s always been there, and going to be around forever, he’s probably right. Yes, Mr. Void gets pretty philosophical about stuff, but we all deal with it. It’s hard to argue over nothing.
Ok, we have to clear the air: Mr. Void is definitely in love with The Star. I mean, it’s good news – if not a little tragic. After all, how can pure nothingness and pure energy ever really get along harmoniously? Even though they are polar opposites, it doesn’t stop Mr. Void from pursuing her, usually with a lot of sappy love poetry and forlorn lamentations – but we are pretty sure he’d be brooding anyway. It’s his jam.
And when it comes to the fonks, Mr. Void has strong, if not confused opinions on the whole matter. Certainly he blames Moon for the whole thing, but he likes the colorful sparks the fonks make – so he’s both bemused and bewildered. More contradictions, we know. What would you do for the rest of eternity?
There’s always a little more to find out about Fonks.
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